Show me love
by xXStayxAliveXx
Summary: HikaruxKaoru, twincest, what happens when all the emotions finnaly surface? First ff ever btw :3


**Show me love**

**Disclaimer: Nopeh, don't own Ouran or the twins, so yeah, u get the point XD.Id wish I owned them though…oh well . **

**Warnings: yaoiness, twincest,angst, swearing w , possible OOCness and **all** those 3.Song fic.**

**Song used: Show me love-Tatu **

_**THIS IS TWINCEST! YAOI ! YOUVE BEEN WARNED! DONT LIKE DON'T READ!!!!**_

**Kaoru's POV**

_**This was an accident, not the kind were sorrow sounds,  
Never even noticed were suddenly crumbling**_

**Everything happened to fast. I didn't even have time to think it through. Hikaru…yes, my brother.My twin, my love, my reason to keep on breathing. By now the house was drowned in an uncomfortable silence, the remains of our fight still lingering everywhere I'd look. We never fought over anything no matter what the subject was. But this time it was different. Everything is a blur .I cant see anything clearly, my eyes are half open letting tears fall down my cheeks in a slow manner. My body trembles from the lack of warmth. Not the the physical one though. When Hikaru was with me, I felt a nice warm feeling inside the pit of my stomach. It would spread when he would lay next to me, hold my hand, or just have one of those stupid brotherly moments that I came to hate with a burning passion. Because they made me get my hopes a little higher every time, even if I knew very well that the love I was thinking/dreaming at was impossible. I gritted my teeth , trying to block everything out.My thoughts are confused, sad, angry. All these mixed emotions are turning and tossing inside me in such way that I cant think straight. My breathe is now irregular from the sobs that make me tremble. I couldn't take this anymore. First the problem with Haruhi, now the fight with Hikaru. Just saying his name made another loud sob escape.I put my head in my hands while pulling my legs closer to my chest. The moon light shines vaguely through the slightly opened window. The only thing I can hear is my racing heartbeat. I swear I could hear my heart shattering into a million of pieces that will never be one again…I miss you Hikaru. I've been alone all along…..**

**Hikaru's POV:**

**I was in the park , trying to tame my anger and sadness that was constantly building up. I groaned in annoyance sitting on a bench putting my head in my hands.**

_**Tell me nothing ever comes rationale or breaking down.  
Still somebody loses cause theirs no way to turn around,  
Staring at your photograph everything now in the past**_

**I sighed biting my lower lip clenching my fists. Why did that stupid fight start anyway? I couldn't even thing straight damn it!**

**Flashback**

_**It was a normal Wednesday morning. Everything seemed pretty normal and nothing was special about this random day .Or so I thought. The only odd thing that was nagging me for a week or so was the thing that Kaoru has been acting quite strange I might say. He's been quiet, and I somehow got the feeling that he was slowly pushing me aside. At first I thought I was just imagining things but then it got worse. With every passing day, I would watch him carefully, only to see his gorgeous features getting cold and immune to what was happening around him. When I would sit next to him, hug him, he would go stiff as a board and glance at me with amber distant eyes. The fiery passion behind our act was never there I guess…Since everything started to fall, our acts became as if it was some kind of bad movie that would make u get out of the cinema before it would even finish. What was really happening to him? It was like all the joy and positive energy was slipping away from him before my eyes.And the worst of all….i couldn't do anything. I could just watch…try to pretend I'm not seeing anything.I didn't want to that was the reason.. And then…it happened…our breaking moment came, like a hard slap in the face that would wake u up to the brutal reality.**_

_**Kaoru was quiet as usual, and our short ride to school was filled with thick silence.Neither of us said anything. In fact, we were even sitting at opposite sides. It was ironic in a way, because we'd usually sit next to each other, with wide grins plastered upon our faces as we would ramble about anything. Plans about how to annoy our Lord by flirting a little with Haruhi or things like this. I forgot to mention that Kaoru started to look away when I would talk about her lately, and would shrug or mutter a small 'whateva. Sounds good'. The first time I frowned and asked him what's wrong with him. He wouldn't answer.**_

_**Never felt so lonely I wish that you could show me love. **_

Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,  
Show me Love, Till you open the door.  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Till im up off the floor.  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,  
Show me Love, Till its inside my pores.  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Till im screaming for more. 

_**Today our Lord decided to keep everything normal for once. I was quite surprised but didn't complain. I needed a small break so I was gonna enjoy it at the fullest. But of course, we got our 'orders' from Kyouya. He said what we had to do in an emotionless manner fixing his glasses his look never changing just like his features. God, how the hell can he stay like that all the time? Doesn't he get sick of pretending he doesn't care when we all know he does? But I guess that's just his problem. As usual, we had to confront some random girls. Kaoru and I sat on the elegant couch waiting for the girls to show up. Once again, we were sitting on opposite sides, not bothering to even glance at each other. It was like both of us were having a mental war that was never going to end . It pained me a lot to see him slipping away without any regrets. Like a shadow… Both of us were always there for each other. Always there no matter what…. But now it seemed that our special bond was getting thinner with every passing week…every passing day…every passing minute. And it was killing me on the inside. Practically I was dead for a long time, but didn't show it. I was suppose to be the strong twin after all right? Then why did I felt like I was the fragile one? That I could snap at any moment from the emotions that were increasing with such speed I didn't have time to feel them fully, It looked like Kaoru was about to win this war….but was this what he wanted? To be' independent'? I already hated that word..**_

'_**I heard that Kaoru wasn't feeling so good lately'. I snapped from my little daze when looking at the 3 girls that sat in front of us. I would like to know how they looked, but even if I squinted my eyes I couldn't see them. Like they had no faces. Why was I becoming something that was spacing out so often? **_

_**Random acts of mindlessness, common place occurrences,  
Chances of surprises, another state of consciousness  
Tell me nothing ever comes lashing out or breaking down**_

'_**Hm? Oh, well , yes, that is true. U can say so ' answered Kaoru with a smile so fake even the dumbest persons could notice he was forcing his lips to tug themselves up in a fake pathetic attend to smile . And when I say the dumbest persons on earth, yeah, I mean Tamaki too. **_

_**The girls gasped then looked worriedly at him. 'What happened to you? What's wrong?' asked one of the girls with big eyes. Kaoru sighed then glanced at me then in front, beyond the girls, at the glaring Kyouya. Yeah, he kinda hated the fact that our 'brotherly moments' were more like a 'who ignores who for how long' game. Identical arms were crossed over identical chests as the mirror image of myself sighed silently then moved a little so he was closer to me. Looking at Kyouya briefly, I rolled my eyes then wrapped my arms around Kaoru. Again, he was stiff as a board. God damn it why the hell was wrong with him?! 'Maybe you could tell me…what's wrong with u…so that I will know what's making you act so cold towards me…Kaoru..' I said in a soft tone lifting his chin up with my forefinger and my middle finger in a slow manner. Our faces got closer. Teasingly close, alluringly close. But nothing more. For a moment I could have sworn I saw Kaoru's look saddening deeply then turning to an emotionless one fast. I looked at him confused. What was happening? What was with that look?**_

_**Still somebody loses cause theirs no way to turn around,  
Tell me how you're never felt delicate or innocent,  
Do you still have doubts that us having faith makes any sense**_,

_**The rest of the day passed by like this. Until our Lord came in the view and sulked as Kyouya , with his devil like look, fixed his glasses one again and announced. 'Hikaru , we heard that u and Kaoru decided some time ago , to annoy Tamaki by flirting now and then with Haruhi. Is that right?'. I blinked in confusion, What the hell was going on?. 'Yeah' replied Kaoru coldly almost making me wince from the tone he us. 'Well, since u wanted to go this far, u could add Haruhi in your 'moments' since I noticed that they lack compassion and everything else your customers expect to see from you. You can use her for fake jealousy, then make up with a happy ending…thing. Got it?'. I blinked blankly at him like he had 3 heads. What the hell was wrong with him?! Who said **__**I**__** wanted Haruhi again? Yeah it was true, I did flirt with her for fun a couple of times but just to annoy our Lord, nothing else that included the part where I was suppose to like her or anything. 'Sounds interesting'. I looked at Kaoru wide eyed. He looked like he wasn't even here, in this world. His look was lost and the words slipped out with him knowing they did. Right?. 'Give us a minute. We have to talk' I said looking at Kyouya sternly, not taking no for an answer. I took a hold of Kaoru's wrist and not even glancing at him, went in an empty classroom so we could talk this over properly. I was human too and I couldn't handle this situation very well. Especially when he wasn't by my side. Especially when he made me feel this way. **_

'_**What's the big deal? Don't u like Kyouya's idea? I thought u would be hopping around joyfully' stated Kaoru carelessly while leaning his back on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. 'Don't u like it Hikaru?' he asked again only this time with more bitterness as the words rolled from the tip of his tongue and clashed in my mind with a hard impact. 'What the hell is that suppose to mean? What happened to you this week? Did u fell on your head or something?!' I snapped at him clenching my fists. 'No, did you? It's Haruhi we're talking about here so don't pretend you're innocent and all right now. I gave you what you wanted and needed now u give me what I want!' he said looking at me coldly. **_

_**Still somebody loses cause theirs no way to turn around**_

'_**You WHAT?! What are you talking about Kaoru ?I swear I don't fucking understand what the hell u want! Who the hell made u change in someone like…' 'Like what Hikaru?' he cut me off raising his voice a little. 'LIKE AN EMOTIONLESS ASSHOLE!'. I clenched my fists harder as my nails dug deep into my palms. I didn't mean to raise my voice so high but by now all my emotions that I kept hidden away from everyone and everything surfaced. Kaoru looked at me surprised for the split of a second but it wasn't very noticeable since it changed to an angry one right away. He stepped closer to me still looking at me straight in the eye. 'WANNA KNOW WHAT MADE ME LIKE THIS? HUH? IT WAS YOU THAT'S WHO! YOU AND YOUR STUPID GAMES OF 'OHH LETS FLIRT WITH HARUHI! LET'S TRY KISSING HER!' WHY NOT FUCK HER TOO THEN!? DONT U THINK I GOT SICK OF IT? I HAVE FEELINGS TOO BUT I TOLD MYSELF LIKE AN IDIOT THAT I AM, THAT ILL LET YOU AND HARUHI ALONE! YOU'LL GET YOUR SO CALLED HAPPINESS AND WE'LL BOTH GET ONN WITH OUR LIVES! DO U THINK I WANTED THIS? HELL NO!!'.**_

_**I stared at my twin, my light, my mirror image, my everything…My eyes were at the eyes of plates as I went on staring at him in total awe and shock. He just snapped at me with so much bitterness I ended up speechless. He was breathing irregular, I could tell just by the way his chest was moving up and down fast. 'Kaoru…why…how…how could u….how could u think at something like that?' I managed to blurt out, but in such a soft manner it ended up more like a whisper. Then it hit me like a rock in the face. Kaoru thought that I wanted to get rid of him? Just because of Haruhi? He thought I wanted HER in exchange of HIM?. 'You think...that…I WANT TO END UP WITH HARUHI? IS THIS HOW U SEE OUR FUTURE? ON DIFFERENT PATHS? NOT ALWAYS BY EACHOTHER'S SIDE LIKE WE SAID WE WOULD BE? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?DO U HONESTLY THINK I WANT THIS? FINE! THEN BE IT YOUR WAY! EACH OF US WITH HIS OWN LIFE! ARE U SATISFIED NOW? GOOD BECAUSE I'M NOT!' I was shouting. I knew I was but I wasn't able to contain myself. I punched the wall with so much force that my knuckles were now covered with a thin layer of blood. Now it was Kaoru's time to stare at me wide eyed. **_

_**Tell me how you've never felt delicate or innocent,**_

_**It hurt me so much to tell him what I did. But I cared for him…more than I should have cared. It wasn't just simple brotherly love. No, it was far beyond that in fact. I loved him in every single possible and impossible way. My heartbeat would increase and my blood would run faster every time I would see his beautiful figure. Yes, we are twins. That means we look the same. But to me, he was nothing alike me, he was perfect, flawless, pure. And I didn't want to ruin those aspects about him. It was just the way he was and even if it meant tearing myself apart from him, I would let him go on and start a new life that sadly and painfully didn't include me in it... I wanted him to go on living, to be happy….even if it meant for me to be left alone. Because without him, I was nothing, but I didn't care about myself at that point.. I glanced at Kaoru one more time, His eyes were wide, and once again I could see the pain clouding them. I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. So I ran out of that room and out of that damned school as fast as I could as my legs went numb.**_

_**Pictures were flashing repeatedly inside my mind as the images from the world outside passed by me with great speed. My legs went numb half way towards home, but I couldn't stop. For his sake, I would let him get a chance and get out there , be someone that others would come to admire in time. I just knew he would make it , every fiber of me told me so and I was sure of it. I went home, but then I realized that place wasn't helping my situation either. The smell of Kaoru lingered around, making me look away. Were my eyes stinging? Was it because, for once in my life, I felt like crying? No…I wasn't gonna cry. I just furrowed my eyebrows into a frown and stormed out of the house, to calm myself.**_

_**It was midnight and I still didn't go home…I miss you Kaoru. I'm nothing without you…**_

**End of flashback (A/N: I should be sleepin right now...but I'm not XD :3) **

**Kaoru's POV (once again 3)**

**I wiped away the tears that were still on my cheeks as I sniffed looking out the window. It was night…many hours have passed since I last saw Hikaru… My heart was aching terribly just to feel his touch again. Just to see him. From what he said , he was never going to come back probably. Tears started falling down my cheeks thinking at that. The pain was too great to handle. The house seemed so empty without him. Nothing seemed to keep my mind of him. I screamed out in anger. Why was he, from billions of other people, the one my heart chose to love so badly? Why was he the one that could make my lips tug into a real smile? Why was he always there for me, and now left me in this big nothing?. I heard the door to my room open with a silent creak. I didn't bother to look up. I was too deep in my own pathetic misery to care about what was going to happen to me from now on. I lost the only person I cared for with my own foulness and now I could do nothing to fix it. **

_**Do you still have doubts that us having faith makes any sense,  
You play games I play tricks, girls and girls but you're the one,  
Like a game of pick up sticks played by fucking lunatics.**_

**I heard light footsteps filling the empty sound of the room , getting closer and closer to me. At first I thought it was just my imagination that broke free. I could already see my sanity dancing out the door. I didn't stop it from doing so. 'I came to pick my stuff…I'll leave after… .'. Immediately my head shot up. I knew that voice too well to not realize who it was. With a tear stained face I held the urge to let more tears spill. Hikaru… he came back…but not for the reason I was hoping he would. I was desperately clinging to the idea that maybe…just maybe… he won't leave. It was just a stupid hope, but I couldn't let go of it. 'Are you…are you really going to leave? F-For good? Y-You can't be serious…' I managed to choke out looking at him with a pleading look. He sighed and looked away so I couldn't see his face anymore. 'You said u wanted this Kaoru. I'm not gonna stay here and ruin your life. Even if you'll tell me that you don't want this, it's for the best. For both of us like you said. Maybe we should…you know…stop being…so…tied up to each other to put it this way.' After he finished talking, I stared at him shocked to death. He already knew what I was going to say so I was left vulnerable and broken. How could he say something like that? Did he really think for even a moment that I meant what I said? I was just fucking jealous that he started spending time with Haruhi so damn much, and slowly each of us was heading towards his own life. I hated that. I never wanted to be away from him. Even if the world would hate me. Even if my mother would yell at me profanities that loving your twin in such way is forbidden. Hah. Forbidden. It's so funny that everybody used to point at us and say we're a couple. We would ignore them, still holding hands, blocking the world. I was truly happy then in an odd way. Just me and him. Nothing else. But I guess all good things have an end. I had to make him understand and get it through that thick skull of his, that I never wanted to let go of him. **

**Hikaru's POV **

**I waited for Kaoru to say something. Anything. But all he did was sniff a little as I heard him getting up. Since I wasn't looking at him I didn't knew what he was going to do. To be honest I was confused and curious about what he was planning on doing. But I didn't dare to even think that he would do something that could ease the pain inside me that was growing and spreading so much until I felt my body numb, I couldn't feel anything. Like I died. But what happened next was too much for me to handle as I could only stare wide eyed, not being able to even flinch. My heartbeat increased radically and my blood ran faster. Kaoru approached me , looking at me straight in the eye and said. 'This is how I feel about you. Don't ever doubt it, don't ever say something else, and don't ever leave me alone'. And with that, his rosy pink lips were pressed against mine firmly, in a deep god damn perfect kiss. **

_**Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,  
Show me Love, Till you open the door.  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,**_

**At first I was too shocked to react, to even blink, I think I held my breathe too. What the hell was wrong with me?! Before I even got the chance to respond to the kiss, Kaoru broke the kiss and took a step backwards. When he looked ****up**** at me, his eyes were filled with unshed tears and sorrow. 'I'm sorry Hikaru….But I …' he tried to talk but all he managed to let out was a sob. 'Kaoru….how…when? Since when Kaoru?' I asked still staring at him in confusion. 'Hikaru I …I don't know….since…forever I guess. Just don't go okay? Even if you hate me and don't want to talk or see me…just let me watch u from distance. Let me see you reaching your goal that u wanted to achieve for such a long time. Let me watch you from the distance, and dream that someday I could be the one that would always be there for you like I wanted to. Always and forever. '**

**I sighed then bit my lower lip roughly to keep me from doing something I would regret later. I looked at Kaoru once again, this time making full eye contact. He smiled weakly, so weakly it looked like it hurt him so much to do so. It probably did….since I knew how it felt to be pushed aside or ignored by the one u care for mostly. So without any other thoughts I pushed against the wall so my body was pressed against his. He looked at me confused and opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off by pressing my lips against his in a deep lustful kiss.**

_**Show me Love, Show me Love, Till im up off the floor.  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,  
Show me Love, Till its inside my pores.**_

**I heard him moan in delight as he eagerly wrapped his fragile hands around my neck pulling me closer if possible. I nibbled at his lower lip earning another moan. My hands roamed all over his body as his lips parted allowing my tongue to slide pass his lips. I picked him up as his legs almost immediately wrapped themselves around my waist. I stumbled my way towards the bed but my lips never left his. 'I wont go Kaoru…no matter what I wont. It's a promise..' I managed to say between heated kissed. I caressed his cheek lovingly then smiled kissing his flushed cheeks. 'I love you too much to leave you alone Kaoru…' I reassured him with a caring smile. His eyes looked deep into mine and then his face burst into a breathtaking smile. I could still see the tears that were gathered at the corners of his eyes. I didn't want to see him hurt. It would make me feel pathetic and I would blame myself for not being able to cure his misery and help him get through it. But now I did. So I didn't feel the crushing guilt overcome me. 'I love you too Hikaru….so much…so damn much... .' he mumbled silently nuzzling my neck . I bit my lower lip holding back a moan as I bit his neck gently at first then added more pressure. Now it was Kaoru's time to moan. And just that simple moan of his in combination with a single hand running through my messy hair made me feel a shiver of pure pleasure run down my spine. I lightly shuddered at his ginger touch , nipping at his neck mentally grinning amused for the future hickey that would develop on that milky white neck of his, much like my own…**

**An hour passed. I was still awake though. My lips were tugged into a small smile , as I stroked Kaoru's head in a tender manner, like afraid he would shatter into a million of pieces. It was a stupid irrational fear I suppose, but I couldn't risk anything now. Not when everything turned out to be exactly as I would imagine in my wildest dreams. I stroke his head again, enjoying the silk-like feeling linger on the tip of my fingers as my hand rested on his pale cheek. Kaoru smells like old memories…and like innocence. Memories that are especially dear to you, that u want to keep forever close to you. That is Kaoru's smell. No other person can have this unique one. Nobody except him. Between a few whispered 'I love you', Kaoru fell asleep, his lips slightly parted. After some time in which I watched him sleep, I realized that my own eyelids were getting heavier by the minute. Eventually my eyes closed, as I fell into a deep slumber. I love you Kaoru...I am deeply grateful that I have someone like you by my side…Thank you…**

_**Show me Love, Show me Love, Show me Love,  
Show me Love, Show me Love, Till im screaming for more**_

**THE END**

**Okay peoples so I hope u enjoyed this. XD Its my first FF ever! . and English is not my first language either. Not even close. Review if u feel like doing so! Though id really appreciate it if u would! Thank you for reading this...um…thing. Toodles! XD hugs**


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